Mum is being really childish about things?

I'm 18 so she should really start to grow up and deal with it that even if she doesn't like my boyfriend for some reason I should be able to do what I want. It all started a few months ago when me and him broke up the first time, she lied and accused him of telling her to f*** off etc, she also told my Grandma this so they BOTH have a grudge against him. I have had a few boyfriends in the past but never has she been this bad with them.



He's not allowed to be here when she's here, if he is she just sits there ignoring him whenever he asks her a question and tries to be friendly... He says he hates her too but he's a sweet boy and I know that this makes him feel hurt and uncomfortable :/



I'm not allowed to go to his,my mum blackmails me constantly about telling my dad that I'm not a virgin if she doesn't get her own way in things. Also today I wanted to just stay at home and relax as I have finished all my college coursework and she asked me to go shopping with her, and just because I really don't want to spend 6 hours in clothes shops she's gone mad and is threatening about my dad again, which has NOTHING to do with it whatsoever!



Please help, she's been like this since my first serious relationship when I was 16. I just don't see her problem, there's no reasoning with her either as even though she's 44 she acts like a child and will sing over me when I try to confront her.Mum is being really childish about things?
think objectively about this

does she REALLY have reason to dislike him?

maybe there are issues you are being blind to

if not, then if i were you, i would take control and tell your dad yourself

take away her power

let her see you can be a mature adult in all of this, even if she cannotMum is being really childish about things?
You may well be 18 but whilst you are living in her home you have to play by her rules and there is very little you can do about that which is why i left home at 19,i wanted the freedom to live my life as i chose to so i opted to move out.



In all honesty you are well over the age of consent to be having sex so if your father chooses never to speak to you again because you didn't wait until you were 21 he isn't much of a father anyway,i very much doubt that he would carry out that threat,it is probably something he said to scare you,parents and especially fathers can find the idea of their daughters growing up and having a sex life very difficult to take.



I would tell her to go ahead and tell him,she can't blackmail you with it then but it does seem strange that it is only this boyfriend she has had such an issue with,maybe she can see something about him that you can't.Mum is being really childish about things?
You are 18 and have reached the age of majority. You are your own person and should be allowed more freedom, even though you are still in the family home.

Your mum should not be blackmailing you on this - she has to decide whether to tell your dad. Your dad could feel betrayed by her because she kept it a secret from him and at the same time, she is betraying your secret. She is also in a no-win situation.

I would suggest you tell your dad about yourself and risk him sticking to what he said years ago. He may not want to risk alienating you, so be brave. Good luck.