We've been together for 2 years now and as it turns out he hates the outdoors and is actually allergic to the sun (His face swells and he gets horrible rashes.)
He got laid off from his job at the radio station a year ago and has only turned in 3 or 4 applications since then. I've had to fight with him horrifically to get him to turn them in in the first place.
He took a loan for college, then dropped out and didn't even tell me, let alone discuss it with me. I simply noticed he was always at home when I came home from school and work. Because of this, he was denied further financial aid toward his education.
We live with horrid room mates and he refuses to move away from them.
I have to fight with him to do the dishes, and then there is still food stuck on them when I get them out of the cupboard later. (Gross.)
His ENTIRE DAY consists of waking up, getting on his computer to play online games, taking various bathroom, shower, and food breaks, and then going to bed at 4 in the morning. These noisy games do not allow me to sleep, as he is shouting into his headset in the same room as me and will not stop no matter what.
We have sex once a month, and haven't kissed more than a peck in over a year.
He threatens to break up with me if I don't dress 'like a woman' and wear makeup.
We never talk. He's always on the computer, and if say, I'm going somewhere with friends for the day, he repeatedly forgets and every time I mention it in conversation he acts shocked and angry that I 'Hadn't brought it up before/had no idea I was going.' Repeatedly. In the same day.
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WHY HAVEN'T I BROKEN UP WITH HIM YET you are probably typing in all caps. Well, here's the thing. He was homeless when I found him because his asshole foster parents threw him into the street with the shirt on his back when he turned 18. He is young and inexperienced at life.
He seemed to be such a hard worker to help me find a place then, so I know he has potential to work and be productive.
If I toss him out now, or simply move away, he will not be able to afford rent on his own and isn't even employed. He will wind up on the street, and it will be my fault.
I feel like leaving him now would put him in danger, and I just feel like it's a very selfish thing to do. I have complete freedom to do whatever I please. He never cheats on me (Too busy with games, haha) or even watches porn! I've installed a key logger on his computer and the worst thing he's looked up is information about 'reasons women lactate' in a perfectly clinical setting. He's usually very honest, and when he lies, it's easy to catch and a very white lie. He is low-maintenance; all I have to do is throw food at him once in a while and put his hair in a ponytail. He is physically attractive and in shape, smart, and charming.
I just don't want to be a mom to him, and I don't want him to drag me down with him as he is literally costing me more money than I am making in rent, since he doesn't want to move. As productive as i am, my savings won't go very far, and then I'LL be homeless.
So what should I do? Give him a time limit, and then move out? Just break it off? I'm tired of being sexually, emotionally, and financially frustrated.Should I break up? Lay down an ultimatum?
Oh my freaking God!
You should be happy he sticks around, with a miserable chick like you, no normal guy would!
Time to brake up.Should I break up? Lay down an ultimatum?
Is his name Ron?
Selfish and ruthless is the norm for women . Kick him out into the frigid winter streets so he can get a taste of what being married and divorced is really like.
It will be a valuable life's lesson for him.Should I break up? Lay down an ultimatum?
Just break it off! He's just bringing you down and leaching off of you. Sounds like you are being a Mom to him. Sounds like more of a mooching roomate than anything else.
DROP HIM!
Not you problem that he has nowhere to go. Maybe that will be his motivation to grow up.
Good luck, you sound like a smart girl. Just let him go and find someone on your level :)
Pity does not equal compatibility. Make plans to break up. Save some money and start tying up the loose ends and then move out. He can answer to the roommates about the rent and other bills and take some responsibility for himself.
Maybe his foster parents didn't actually throw him out of the house with nothing but a shirt on is back. Maybe they went through what you are going through right now. He is a mooch and always will be one so long as you enable him. If it's been a year and he still can't find a job, then something is wrong.
If I were you, I would tell him the relationship is over and he is responsible for supporting himself from now on. Don't give him -any- money in any shape or form (don't let him eat your food, don't drive him places, etc.). You should probably look for another place to live since you don't like his roommates, but tell him that he needs to start looking for a place to live as well. Throw all of his belongings out of the bedroom and put a new lock on the bedroom door so he can't sleep in your bed anymore of use the gamer.
Best of luck!
I think you should give him a time limit, and NOT move out if he meets the deadline. Something like this:
"If you do not have a full time job by Feb. 12, I will move out."
Make sure he understands, and that you are serious, and then say nothing more.
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