What Do YOU Think About This?

My fiance' and I are havin' problems due to a sexual deed he had done the last week of last month and the night of New Year's day by his BABY's mom (his EX). He swears up and down it shouldn't bother me or bother me SO or THAT much since both of us were 'single' and we "weren't" together.





So, we just got off the phone a few minutes ago and he said that startin' "today", Saturday, the 21st, he and we (he and I) can only talk and text "two" days outa the week - Sundays and Mondays. Since I'm so called and supposedly depriving him of the deed and refusing to do it to him. I "don't" wanna because of what he did.





So, guess we'll see how long "this" stunt lasts... I really am outa my mind, I guess... I love him more than anything. We only get to see each other and spend time together on the weekends since we live an hour apart. And he's tryin' to make me think I shouldn't have a problem with him meetin' his baby's mom for the sex act while we were broken up..





I also truly believe he just really wants me to feel and think how "he" does... I doesn't have good beliefs, morals or values. And for God's sake, he practices black magic and or witchcraft.. He's supposedly cast curses and spells on me.. He's wiccan or wicca or whatever the Hell that belief is...





Anyway, he's broken up with me a few times in the past, last year. And most times he's run right back to this thing - the kid's mom. To it's workplace for the sexual deed.





I'd like to find out what guys / men think about this. I know what girls and women think about it.. And maybe he "really doesn't" love me as much as he so called claims to... Just back on the seventh, he came down to see me after I got outa work and he told me then that if I didn't wanna do that, that he'd accept that. That he wanted US and to be with ME more than the sex act... But NOW, he's changed his mind. Because I HAVEN'T done it and DON'T WANNA do it..





I mean, SHOULD I? AM I bein' overly and too sensitive? AM I bein' OVERLY and or "too" closed and or shallow minded? Should I "just" go up there and say, "Hey, Baby, lemme unzip your jeans..."?





He's 37 and I'm 42. And we've had quite a rocky relationship..





I do love him with all and everything I have. He also claims and tells me most "everyone does and would" agree with him that I "shouldn't" hold what he did against him. That I "should just" do it as if and as though "nothin' ever happened"...





So, we're supposed to meet tomorrow, Sunday, the 22nd and eat and maybe see a movie and spend time together... And TALK...





He dumps me "again", I AM DONE AND GONE.. I'm done with all the games and his games.. I disagree with off again and on again relationships...





I love him and guess I'll find out tomorrow...





I "would" like to read what people - girls /women and guys / men have to say and think about this, though...|||Simple. He is a selfish jerk. I usually don't like to suggest people to dump someone but this is a no brainer. You really need to be objective and look at him objectively and not through rose colored lenses. He is giving blunt warning signals and its best for you not to ignore them. Ignoring warning signals in a relationship is like ignoring the warning signals on the dashboard of your car. The problem is likely not going to go away but likely to get worst. Also what do others think about him? Best not to discard other peoples views because they can sometimes see things that we cannot see through our rose colored lenses.



Find someone that when you ask yourself... Is this the right person? You can easily answer YES!!!!|||I don't think you understand what "single" means. If you two were not together. If you two had gone separate ways, then he was free to sleep with whoever he wanted. if you expected him to be faithful to you, then you two weren't "single." And if you're OK with him having a random fling, but not his ex, that's being rather arbitrary, and still none of your business since you two were "single."



And if your knowledge of his spirituality is "wiccan or wicca or whatever the Hell that belief is.." It really doesn't sound like you're ready to get married. Religion is a central part of many people's lives. You can't just ignore it.



Wicca also has nothing to do with spells, curse, or black magic.



And if you think he's doing such things, why the hell are you engaged to him? If you have such a low opinion of him, go your own way.



You sound like the manipulative one here.



If you keep ending up single because he's dumping you, then the real problem is YOU letting him come back. Stop doing it. If he dumped you, and then he immediately had sex with another woman, and he's done this before, why would you take him back and consider yourself his fiance?|||There is no love on his part. Seems he cannot let his "X" go her own way. Therefore i would get out of there before she finds out or there could be more trouble than you dare to believe !.i know you love him much and cant live without him. Believe me there are better men out ther who would just love to be with you !!|||I beg your pardon, but I don't get it.





He's your fiance, but you're "not together?" He's having sex with other people? Then he's surprsised that YOU are surprised?





Honey, where is your self esteem? Where is your self-respect?





You have to wait for him to dump you "again" and you're gone????








Not to mention


- Wiccans do not believe in black magic


- Wicca %26amp; Witchcraft are not the same thing


- Wiccan's don't cast curses or spells on other people; we would consider it unethical


- Wicca's key tenets teach us to take personal responsibility for ourselves, to find a healthy balance in all things, to treat others with respect








So either he's not really Wiccan and just feeding you lines he heard in bad teen fantasy about it, or you have no idea what his religion is and are completely disrespectful of it.... and this relationship is going to work-- how?








So let me get this straight-- you disrespect each other's religion; he's dumped you more than once; he has sex with other women; and you are putting up with this in the name of "love"?





Sorry-- nothing you mention sounds anything like love.





Obsession, low self esteem, low self image, despration, clingyness, lust, sex,etc.-- not one thing sounds like love though.





Please wake up. Get smart. Get out. And use your head next time, too; not just your heart.|||For one, I would like to clear up the whole Wicca thing, as being one myself. Written in the Wiccan Rede, it says "And ye harm none, do as ye will." In other words, don't harm anyone and you are fine. The Wiccan religion is mainly revolved around nature, and helping others. ((If I sound standoffish, I didn't mean for it to come off that way, just trying to inform!))





Now, I'm only 19 years old, and you can take what I say how ever you want and what not but this is what ran though my mind when I read your post.





In the recent past, I had a really crappy relationship. My daughter's father and I dated for nearly 4 years on and off, because one of us broke up with the other or what ever, and we'd always crawl back to each other. I wound up pregnant because he decided to puncture holes in the condom he wore, in hopes I would get pregnant to stay by his side. After our daughter was born I had left him, because of his continual badgers for sex, and I just didn't have the time nor the wanting to either. I got back together with him about seven months later in hopes to keep a family together, and his abusiveness would have come to a stop. Well that wasn't the case. His abuse just continually became worse, and I finally broke and had my last straw when he threw firecrackers at our one year old.





For your man being 37, he sounds like he's acting like an 18 year old, whose fresh out of high school wanting to just get laid, a relationship shouldn't be built on sex, but that is my opinion. If your not in the mood to have sex, then that should be the end of it, Sex is suppose to be this 'sacred thing' between two people who love each other. It shouldn't be a one sided thing, but that's just my perspective.








I hope my answer has helped a little bit at least!|||I think he's a control freak. He's an abuser. Dump him. Soon he'll be beating you. Move on. You deserve better. Please stop responding to his abusive remarks and threats. Just ignore him and find a decent man.