Do you have to do vows at your wedding!?

I'm not exactly a super outgoing person. I'm very shy, an I don't like talking in front of people. Me %26amp; my boyfriend know we will be getting married in the future, an I was thinking about the vows....now is that something most people do at weddings?! If we chose not to say vows in front of everyone, is that something big that just shouldn't be left out. I've only been to one wedding, so I don't know how that whole thing goes. I mean, we would have no problem saying them to eachother with just us afterwords or something. I guess I just need some opinions from people I don't know.

Thanks :)

-Ms. Estelle DarlingDo you have to do vows at your wedding!?
I'm just like you, shy (sometimes and sometimes not though) and I don't like a lot of attention on me. My fiance and I have been together for almost 6 years and we are getting married in June, we are not writing our own vows and that is going to be as beautiful as if we were writing out own vows. I'll be nervous enough without being infront of an audience let alone getting emotional over my vows. Also, I find those feelings and emotions personal. They are only meant for my fiance not everyone else.



Do what you like, ultimately it is your and your future husbands wedding and it shuold eflect you both.



:)
In regards to your 'additional details': you do need to say some form of vows, but you don't have to write your own. The officiant should have a 'standard verse' that they would say and then you would repeat. So, for example: I, [name], take you [name] to be my husband...



And, from my own wedding, I can say that I was so focused on my now-husband and the officiant, I couldn't have told you if there was a single person in the room. You'll probably have the same experience.Do you have to do vows at your wedding!?
Vows are part of the wedding ceremony. Without them, there is no way the officiant knows you are wanting to marry each other. Without vows, you walk to the front, stand there with nothing going on, turn around and walk away. It's a pretend wedding like children do in the backyard in the summer time when they can con a little boy into being the groom.



But if you are asking if you must write your own vows, the answer is "no!" The officiant will read the vows to you and you answer or repeat when asked to. It's rather simple.
vows are a required component of the wedding ceremony in order for it to be legal.



Most officiants/churches have standard vows that you can recite as opposed to writing your own.



You could ask the officiant if it is possible for him/her to say them and ask that you affirm "I will" or "I do" rather than you having to repeat them all back -- depending upon who you are dealing with they may or may not be able to accomodate this.Do you have to do vows at your wedding!?
Yes, you have to say the vows. That is the whole point of the wedding ceremony. You have to say them so that the offciant knows you're there under your own free will. You do not have to write your own. You can chose, as most people do, to repeat the standard ones. The minister/officiant will break them down into little phrases and you will repeat them after him/her.
No. It's your wedding you make the rules. If you want to do the "speech" then go for it! If you just want it to be over with then do that. No one will force you into doing something on YOUR night. The vows are just a way of saying "hey honey, I love you lots and this is what I am going to do to prove it." Or at least that is my view of them.



Good luck! Don't worry about vows, if you don't want them, then don't have them!
normally only older couples write vows or if a couple has an anniversary wedding to renew their vows then they write their own but I would think if you are a young couple and this is your first marriage you can repeat the usual vows that the clergy provides.
You have to do the vows, but you don't have to write your own. You can just repeat after the minister.
It's not a speech. It takes under 30 seconds and you just repeat the short phrases the minister/officiant uses.
I think many people just repeat after the offeciant.
Yap!
yes
You are allowed to write your own, and they can be as short and sweet as they need to be. I found some lovely vows online, and they were very short, as my husband has the same problem you do. He hates being in front of large crowds and speaking in public, but he got through them. Our ceremony took a whopping 20 minutes.



They can be as simple as:



"I will love you, through thick and thin, through better or worse, through sickness and health, till death do us part."



There ya go. 20 seconds of talking. Then say "I do" and you're done. They are necessary, but they don't have to be long drawn out confessions of love. Good luck.
no. the only part of the wedding ceremony which is absolutely mandatory is when the officiant asks each of you if you take one another to be your lawfully wedded husband or wife. the rest is all icing. when people get married in the courthouse, that is all they do, is ask each of them if they take one another, then they pronounce them married. so if that's all you want in your wedding, that's all you legally need to have.



the vows are promises that each member of the couple makes to one another and are not legally necessary but are there to give the couple the opportunity to declare in front of witnesses how they feel about one another and their relationship. if you don't want to do it, you don't have to. all wedding officiants know how to conduct very nice wedding ceremonies for people who just want to say "i do" and leave it at that.
Oh im the same, I'm definitely not writing my own vows. It's more stressful, and some of them (no matter how romantically meant) end up seeming very cheesy. Also ill be very nervous (i dont like lots of people looking at me) and any of my own vows would just fly out of my head!



You need to do the part where you repeat after the minister, you know the "do you____take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband".



if you want you can have a tiny church service/registery thing and then a bigger reception to avoid this problem. You can explain this to people if you want- as some people find it rude to only be invited to one. Others frankly prefer it!