I like a Boy, but I cant tell him how I feel, i dunno what to do?

Ok, well Im an 18 year old guy

In school, I have been having feelings for a guy, and for a long time now. Basically the feelings are killing me inside. I feel in love with him, theres no other word for it. He is a lovely guy, really nice, funny and caring, and he is just so relaxed and cool. I just love him to bits. The minute I see him, I feel something in my heart no other person let alone guy has ever made me feel. Today, I sat beside him in class for the first time in well atleast a year, and it made me realise after trying to forget about him that he is so beautiful and nice. He is very attractive, he is tall, beautiful dirtyblonde hair, blue eyes, beautiful skin, and amazing smile. he is in my eyes perfection. Its almost to hard when i see him, its like my body cant comprehend how beautiful he is and just melts.

I met him 5 years ago in school, and back then he was a just a really nice outgoing chap, I had no real feelings for him. 4 years ago, i sat beside him in class (we did classes all in the same room,) so I really got to know him quite well.

I dont have any friends in school,I dunno why, when i started school, peoeple never wanted to know me, I have tried hard talking with people, but most people just ignore me or make fun of me. so I am quite shy around people. The thing is , this boy would talk with me, and it didnt matter that I didnt have friends etc, he just was really nice, I look up to him. He is very popular and everyone loves him, he is just so dead on and lovely, i dont see how anyone could have anything against him. 2 years ago we went on a school trip together, and I was eating my dinner alone after people walked away when i sat down :( :(, but this guy called me over and made room for me to sit next to him and he talked with me, i was feeling himesick, the fact he cared just touched my heart so much. since then my feelings have grown really a lot for him. Its the friendliest thing anyone has ever done for me.

He is the first person I feel I want to share my life with, just travel the world, maybe have a family and care for each other. Just to live for each other, I have dreamed of this.

Today we dont have a very strong relationship, which i feel is my fault, because i am shy, and socially arkward, i feel i dunno how to make friends, thats the main thing i want, just to be good friends with him. Usually we just say hey on the corridoor, and sometimes how are you etc, just some small talk.

My problem, i have no idea if he is gay, I have no idea how he would react if i told him. I sometimes get a feeling he might be, because he used to be called gay boy when he was younger, and i never hear him talking about girls, but i know that means nothing. I feel though something special when I am near him.

I really feel in my heart that i want to just tell him how i feel for him a lot, just to let him know that I like him a lot, but I cant, because im afraid if i told him, he might tell someone else like one of his friends and that news im gay would spread and I would get hurt and bullied and im afraid of my parents finding out. They would hate that. Thats what keeping me back from telling him what I feel, also the fact he might freak. I would understand if he doesnt like me and freaks, I respect how he feels, i just feel lonely, and wish I could tell him.

Also he is so tall and good looking and strong, and im small, thin and not as good looking at all, and Im afraid even if he was gay, he wouldnt ever want to be with me, because he could have any guy in the world.

I just feel I want him to know i love him, I want to care for him, and be a good friend of him.

I just dont have anyone to talk to on this, I need advice on what I should do. Its just quite emotional for me when I feel like this. what do you think i should doI like a Boy, but I cant tell him how I feel, i dunno what to do?
My honest opinion is not to say anything.

Until you know he's gay, saying anything would make things extremely awkward and possibly ruin what little attachment you have.

Also, you will be leaving school soon and these feelings will fade as you will no longer have any interaction.

I say until you know for sure he's gay, leave him alone.I like a Boy, but I cant tell him how I feel, i dunno what to do?
dkI like a Boy, but I cant tell him how I feel, i dunno what to do?
f*cking hell, some people have too much time on their hands.