I'm going to lose my home, i'm depressed, my mom is depressed and my dad doesn't do ****. Advice?

I'm 17 about to be 18 in 2 weeks. My family has never really been financially stable... well, ever. I hve learned to deal with it and make the best of my life cause things could always be worse, right? the truth is things have gotten worse, we've been homeless twice now and we risk losing our new house by the end of the month. that means another birthday of mine is not going to happen. I know that sounds shallow and what not, but the past 2 years i haven't had a birthday and after a while it kinda sucks. i also cant afford to go to the doctor which i really need to because i've had this chronic mysterious illness for the past few years. i'm always dehydrated, i faint for no apparent reason, i get dizzy and i'm always always fatigued no mater how much sleep i get. I'm depressed. I used to cut myself when i was younger and i have been fighting the urge to do it again. I think about suicide often, i just want to end this torture i've been born into. i can't talk to my parents about anyof this because i know they will be angry instead of supportive just like the last time they found out. This is my graduation year and i do not want to be homeless again. it's hard to stay on track in school and my deadbeat father can't get over his smoking and drinking addiction long enough to realize he is killing our family. I f we even bring it up to him he starts cursing and yelling and gets violent. I guess i am writing this to sort of vent my problems since i don't have any friends who would even begin to understand what i am going through. but if anyone has any suggestions of how i can deal with my life, please do tell. I do't want any inspirational bullshit answers about how the grass is always greener and **** like that, i want an answer because i don't know how much longer i can go through this.I'm going to lose my home, i'm depressed, my mom is depressed and my dad doesn't do ****. Advice?
Hi,

I am so sorry your family and you are going through such a difficult time. There is nothing I can say here or anyone can that is going to change your circumstances but I have some ideas that might help your dealing with it.

I am not a doctor and have no training in psychology of any kind. I do know that often pastors of churches will help someone by talking with them especially if they have no money. They are more trained to do so. Just walk up to one and ask.... remember that option is available.

I can relate to much of your letter. I am a grandma now but I grew up with both parents into alcohol and have some stories I try to forget. We are not alone, this addiction is way bigger than most think. You have to consider it an illness which is just as devastating to him as your fainting is to you... and unfortunately for the alcoholic, having another drink often erases that devastation for a little while and starts the circle in motion again. I wish he did not yell, or cure or become violent and I wish he didn't drink. But since that is the issue we can't change that ourselves - Let's talk about what we can change.

Not inspirational, not grass greener, just how to look at life a bit differently. Ok ?

Do me three favors, please?

1. Go outside if its not too cold... or even if it is and you can handle it. Sit somewhere outside... a bench or park is good. Now just sit and listen... watch, and don't think. Erase the crap from your head and just listen. What can you hear? Traffic, people talking, birds flying over.... just listen and take the crap out of your head if only for 30 minutes. Each time you do that you will be able to survive witout the horrible events of the day putting you in overload. Don't let them! Beat them! You can.

2. Think about how you were helped this week. A teacher, a postman, a waitress, a friend, a stranger you see often. This is so good. Take just 10 minutes of your day... clear your head of the crap again and write a note. Be careful to word it just right. Say something like " Thank you for being you! You helped me so much this week. or You are such a kind person, its nice knowing you. or you always help people with a smile and I wanted you to know it was appreciated. Then only sign it "a friend, or a customer or a client., or a student." careful as to the signature... Getting the waitress' name at a restaurant you go to is nice, then leave the note when no one is around with her name on it. BUT.. there is a catch, you can't get found out about.... never never tell a soul. not me, not anyone only you can know that you sent a person a note of gratitude... and sincerity. I guarantee you, you will feel good inside. If you ever tell anyone or get found out about it wont work. Its just for inside of you. and by the way... inside of the person that reads it and the joy it brings.



3. There are all kinds of things people say and writings you can read about why life is so difficult.

Some say we are supposed to be learning things or growing. ok, tough lessons huh? I have to ask myself why God put me here on this earth.... I am here for a purpose and its not to take my life or to hurt my body.... I am sure of that.... so what am I doing here? Who.... can you help today?

Who needs you.... not angry, not fussing, not hurting inside.... who needs help from you. I am older so its so nice when someone helps me across the street. Its nice to offer to help someone with their dog or their groceries if you see them come home from the store. Stuff like that. Walk around and see who near you needs a helping hand. It wont change what is happening but it will help you feel good inside, I promise.



Again, i wish your circumstances were different and I promise you they will change even if they get worse before the end of the tunnel, I promise they will change.

In 1995 I adopted two boys. Their father was an alcoholic and their mother had taken her life. They felt abandoned and deserted. I happened along at the right time because I am sure I was supposed to be there... this was in another country. Learn determination! Make it your priority. To survive. Without help from me, except for food and shelter some of the time, my boys are System Engineers. They survived by working hard, studying hard, getting help from any family member that could help them, or anyone else, like me for example. But they survived and overcame some very big obstacles. They were pretty much homeless, too. You can be a survivor, its gonna be hard and its got a lot of baggage with it, but you can win. You can begin with #1 ,2,and 3 above....I promise you inside you will feel better when you do. I hope we meet one day, you will be standing tall and I will know who you are.

HOP
Im so sorry you have to go thro this. You need should really go talk to your counselor at school and see if she can help you out. Like you said this is you senior year and you are suppose to be enjoying it not feeling the way you feel. I'm not not gonna say the grass is greener on the other side because the way thngs are it's not. I'm a young single mother and it's hard taking care of my children alone, but your father is there and he needs to realize his actions is affecting you. I know you can't talk to him, but maybe you should write him a letter and express your feelings to him. But to start you need to go talk to someone at school. reading what you wrote makes me angry and to the point where I feel Im going to take you u because you should not be feeling the way you do and going thro those things. Like you said this is you last year of school, you should be worryin about the prom, gettin a car and college. I wish I could help you out more, you're to young to be feeling the way you do. I hope this helps you out some. I would leave my number so you could talk when you need to but I don't want others to do have it.I'm going to lose my home, i'm depressed, my mom is depressed and my dad doesn't do ****. Advice?
Okay just remember that if you do well in colloge and don't give a D*m what people think when they think your a nerd then yOu get a good job and move out after colloge then you'll be free. I cling to this small shred of hope in my life also. Also if you are aetheist consider either becoming catholic or Mormon. Both of my close relatives have overcome struggles when they joined wither of these.
man u write a lot and second try to get a job like idk sell some stuff on kijiji or go to black market on Facebook. Hope That Helps :)I'm going to lose my home, i'm depressed, my mom is depressed and my dad doesn't do ****. Advice?
Your symptoms could be associated with a thing called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. People with CFS can have many symptoms including fainting, dizziness and extreme tiredness which isn't helped by sleep. CFS can be caused or made worse by stress, anxiety and depression. Seeking professional medical advice would be best, if you don't have access to a doctor use resources such as school nurses and school councilors.

Sites such as ReachOut! have trained therapists who can help you with your self harming issues. Also look for phone help lines such as Lifeline. (These are examples from Australia, so google helplines available in your region). Self harming isn't a solution, it's a coping method. You can learn new, healthy, coping methods from places like that.



You don't deserve to live the way you do, it isn't fair. But don't let these issues define who you are. Use them to make you a stronger person. Try as hard as you can in school to help yourself. Your dad isn't going to change overnight, as bad as that sounds. You only have control over yourself, so make a difference starting with you.



Good luck with school and everything else. If you try hard enough things will work out.



xx
set targets for yourself. Ignore all the **** going around you, and have a set goal of where you want to be when you are 21, so you can set yourself up and get out, and do your own thing.



If you set a target of moving out, and having a good education behind you- and going into a job, you will soon forget all this. Keep your eye permanently fixed on where you want to be in a few years, and work hard. Every obstacle that comes along is just something you have to deal with- whether you like it or not!
I am sorry that you have been placed with such a berdon at such a young age. Life has been tough for you, I know. For your health problems, you may want to contact the local universtiy. They may have student doctors there that could help you out for free. Also, I would think about getting a job and renting an appartment. If you get a rommate, you could split the costs. Are there any other relativers that you can go to? Wow, growing up is tough enough without added aggrivation. I wish you the best of luck!