Just need someone to listen and reassure me it will be okay?

I have been through a lot in my 20 year-life. More than anyone should ever experience. And I just need some reassurance that everything will be okay. My mom walked out of my life after being "my best friend" for so many years. I struggle with talking to her again but I know it will only cause problems in my relationships between siblings, dad, and step-mom. I live at home with my dad and family, while finishing my junior year of college, working part time. My dad hates that i get out of work at midnight, but when i'm not at school, i'm at work. Family time happens, but its just not the same. I just...i miss my mom, a lot. More than anything actually. And despite everything that she did to myself and my family, i would do anything to have her back. But, my dad and brother is all I have with going back to my mom means losing them. I could never do that to my family. My dad and i get into verbal fights sometimes and it makes me feel like some how its all my fault (like the work example). I sit here, telling myself that i screwed everything up, its because of me that I "dont have" a mom, because of me that my father daughter relationship breaks now and then, and because of me that everything that was good in my life has fallen apart. Some days its okay but others not so much. I can remember times when i was much younger where my parents and i got into a fight and it ended with me sitting in my room, balling my eyes out, saying "nobody loves me, everybody hates me" and sometimes getting to the point of me purposfully falling off my bunk bed, hitting my head on things, doing what ever i could to feel something good in a sense that showed they still cared (even if it meant wrapping a twisted ankle from falling on purpose). I know my dad knows about my crying and such when younger but idk if he realizes that i "hurt" myself on purpose (i dont anymore btw). Now, i just get back to that same feeling of "nobody loves me, nobody understands me, everyone hates me, its all my fault" and i just dont know what to do. I just... I dont know anymore. I feel so alone and unwanted because of it and i just want everything to be better; to be okay again, where everyones happy.Just need someone to listen and reassure me it will be okay?
Honey there is no way to make everyone happy. We aren't responsible for everyone else happiness. Don't blame yourself. Whatever happened with your Mom was probably something personal that she had to deal with. She may even have bad feelings about her own self she is dealing with. My Daughters are my best friends,I try to give wisdom and advice to them,but sometimes I am not sure about everything...parents aren't perfect either. We live in an imperfect world,it won't be perfect until the Lord comes back. Your Dad probably worries about you and may even be afraid of losing you to your Mom. My youngest Daughter went through that. She wanted to live with her Dad at age 14 and it devastated me,but people told me to give it time. Eventually she came back to live with me before she graduated high school. Her Dad was upset but had to accept her decision because the bottom line was...he loved her. Now she is in her late 20's, married with a 5 yr. old son (who is my only grandchild). We are best friends.....my oldest Daughter is my best friend too and we had a rocky time as well..she is married. Time can heal and change things...so don't blame yourself...there is hope. This time in your life will pass. Nothing like this is your fault...actually you or nobody else in the world has this much control over things in life....you aren't in control. Everything will be ok.
"Honour thy father and thy mother." It sounds to me like you're missing your mother and you should find a place for her in your life again.Just need someone to listen and reassure me it will be okay?
I think that once you move out your relationships will get better, and that will also give you an opportunity to see your mom again. Just hang in there!
Talk to your mom more. The good thing is that you can text, skype, or call her without leaving your current family. Visit more or ask her to visit. Establish a connection again. It'll be ok, but don't say that she doesn't live you because that's not true by your description that you wrote. She was your best friend wasn't she?Just need someone to listen and reassure me it will be okay?
Things happen but don't place all the blame on yourself because in every situation there are always two (or more) sides so not everything that happens is your fault. I know this is easier said than done but you must first realise this to begin coping. I understand that you have suffered a lot with so many family problems (and frankly school can be hard at times which can cause for more stress) but I think you must find a way to express your "frustration" in a positive way; if you feel like you must cry then do it; go for a jog, do something you enjoy that takes your mind off of things and seriously this helps out so much. As for feeling alone, though this feeling will take some time to surpress, you must know that you are NOT alone. You have your friends and family at your side but also there are people out there who want to help. I think that you must find a person that you are comfortable enough to speak to about things of this nature and just letting people see this side of you will release some of this "burden" that haunts you. Finally as corny as this sounds, everything WILL be ok; at times life seems unbearable but as time goes on, things will look better, unfortunately we must be patient. Hope you find the happiness that you deserve.
Are you sure about that? Cuz I am 17, I have been shot, kidnapped, and lived in fear for 3 straight years. I am Iraqi, I came to the US feeling like the unwanted visitor in a different culture. No body wants to talk to me, especially back then with my bad English. No body cares about me (except my family). They dont understand the situation I am in, because they are living in one world, their world. I am living on a tight rope, ripped apart by two worlds, two cultures, two languages, two personalities. Yet, I keep a smile on my face believing that one day everything will be okay. In my school, everyone thinks that I am a terrorist, and I get insulted so many times, but I don't let it affect me. Because deep down inside my heart, I know that I am way more humane than most of them. I have seen people getting shot, burned, and even exploded. One time I was less than 1/4 of a mile away from a car explosion. My side is full with injuries because of what the shockwave has carried with it. I walk like a "clown" because of my shot leg, and I didn't have any surgery on it. These are all social situations that causes me depression, but I try to never give up! Maybe you should do the same. I would see a shrink, just to get the "emo" problem over with. %26amp; BTW, I know that things WILL get better, because I am on my way to a new stage in life.

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