In arguments, I keep getting railroaded into decisions and saying things i don't mean.. how do i prevent this?

So i love how my sister always manages to do this... we'll be arguing about something... i'll have a point that I am trying to make.. she always finds a way to distract me from the point i'm making by analysing everything I say and restructuring it and asking "oh okay so you think .... [basically what i said but meaning something else] so I end up falling into the trap of saying something I regret.then she's got me because i did say it.. and in the heat of the moment you can't contradict yourself so you have to follow through or else they laugh in your face and the arguement is over. Then she'll just be like "Oh okay.. well i'll go and tell them you said that then...".



Now sibling arguments seems rather petty... but i see it as a potential problem for other situations and as a weakness that i want to turn into a strength.. It was also a problem the last few times i have worked for this dodgy pizza van guy who does music festivals.. Whenever i work for him i do f*cking long hours for crap all pay and when he talks to me he always railroads me into a decision that i don't have time to think about.. such as... whenever he pays me in cash.. i'll be about to object and he'll f*cking keep talking and distracting me so i can't think about what i'm trying to say.. and he'll always be like "that sounds alright now doesn't it?" while he's smiling.. then all i can do is just whinge and f*cking say goodbye.



this sh*ts me up the wall so much... then afterwards its just like ... damnit.. if i had have kept my cool i could have said this.. or that.. totally could have had the argument. But i get screwed everytime!



Need some good tips here if anyone has any?In arguments, I keep getting railroaded into decisions and saying things i don't mean.. how do i prevent this?
It's called debating or being assertive...to be able to get your point across and win an argument or disagreement. It is a skill that can be learned. There are books, classes, seminars, clubs, heck there is even a great movie on the subject, The Great Debaters.

Start with your observation "railroading". Next time you have an argument with your sister say "Stop trying to railroad me. If I didn't know better I would say you were a BULLY. It is so unbecoming. Can I speak now?"
hee-hee that may stop her in her tracks.

PS I thought of one more trick I read...they say to just repeat exactly your response. No matter how many times the other person throws stuff at you, just repeat exactly your same response (in a calm voice). They say it usually takes 3 times of repeating your exact response for the other person to final get that you are serious and will not be swayed.
Some people are worse than others. When I find I am repeating myself for the 4th or 5th time I end the discussion.In arguments, I keep getting railroaded into decisions and saying things i don't mean.. how do i prevent this?
1. Never abandon your point! Don't allow others to sway you away from your point.



2. Don't accept it when someone over-analyzes your comments and skew the meaning. Tell them that they've missed your point, then rephrase your position. Always try to be as concise as possible, using as few words as possible. It gives them less leverage and less to misconstrue.



3. If you contradict yourself, don't accept the wrong point. Make the correction and restate your point.



4. When working for the pizza guy. Before you even talk to him, calculate what you think is your fair pay. Keep a running tab in your head or get a notepad and write things down.



5. Instead of letting him calculate your pay, you can beat him to the punch by telling him what he owes you. (If you think ahead)



6. If he says, "Does that sound alright" don't just agree with him if you feel that it isn't. Speak up and say it isn't right and explain why.



If the pizza guy is nothing but a petty jerk who takes advantage of people, then chances are that if you wise up to him, he won't hire you again. If so, you're better off finding a better boss to work for anyway. Why work your tail off for someone that's ripping you off?