Should I consider counseling?

Little background,

My boyfriend (now ex) and I dated for almost a year, almost 4 years ago. We split because we were too busy with our own careers, but also because he has a little bit of a commitment issue. He can never make it past the year mark and sure enough, he began to "loose interest" and we ended up breaking up.

I went on with my life and started up my career, moved on my own, was doing pretty good for myself. He came into my life once again a year and 4 months ago. He swore to me up and down that he was ready, he wanted to be with me and he would never ever find someone like me. I was very hesitant and didn't want anything to do with it for a while, but I have been in love with him since the first time we dated so I gave in and fell in love with him even more, things were great...

We moved in together in June of last year and started up great, of course went through an adjustment period like every couple has to do. 2 months ago we decided we would get a Boxer puppy. The Boxer part was more his decision than mine because Boxers are very hyper and love to run, he is a runner so it worked out. We got a gorgeous little puppy a month ago.

On Monday I found out that his so called friend (this chick that he did martial arts with, I've met her, even though very manly, total slut...), they hooked up right before him and I started dating. He told me they had kissed, but completely failed to mention they had sex. They've kept a very close friendship throughout our entire relationship (this would have not been ok with me if he had told me the truth) but I began to have a little bit of doubts about her about a month ago. She'd text him in the middle of the night... I kept hearing her name pop up at home... just didn't feel right.

When I confronted him and he finally told me the truth, clearly I was upset and didn't speak to him for about a day. When I came home from work and was ready to talk it out, figure out a solution and move on from this, he comes at me and tells me he no longer wants to be in a relationship. He never once told me he was unhappy (until this week of course), and he is not going to change his mind. He loves me but he can't be with me. He also said he is not taking the dog and if he is, he is going to give her back to the breeder. He will take over the lease and stay for the next 6 months and he is going to work so much overtime, he wouldn't have time for the dog.



After a couple of conversations, I have finally realized that once again he just chickened out on me, but now I'm stuck moving back home with my parents and with a poor little puppy that doesn't deserve to be dealing with this.



My question is, at this point, I am so heartbroken, betrayed, and my trust issues are so bad, I am afraid I am not going to be able to pull through on my own. Do you think a few sessions of therapy will help me look at this in a different way? I need to move on from this, for my own health, for my dog and because its the right thing to do, but I was completely blindsided by this, I am in some feeling like I failed in a way and this sucks. I love him so much, I was willing to work through anything because in my eyes, he was the one. How would therapy help me cope with this?



FYI, I'm 25, he is 30.Should I consider counseling?
Counseling can NEVER hurt! I've done a good bit of it in my lifetime %26amp; KNOW it does help. I was surprised to see his age as 30, when he's acting more like a kid who can't make a long term commitment! Then to want %26amp; get a dog, have it for such a short time, then to also change his mind about that too. HE also sure could use some counseling as he seems as tho he has problems with "long term" commitments with/to anyone or any thing!! I know you're hurting from the way he's mistreated you, but HE IS the problem not you! Go see how you can get over the likes of him once %26amp; for all. Put him in your past %26amp; bury it ALL deep. The past is forever gone, your future is still your own. Honey, there IS a special someone out there just for you. The "someone" you were meant to be with, you WILL meet him when you least expect it. You will find the happiness you so deserve %26amp; be able to put this all behind you. Again, YOU did NOT fail, HE was the ONE who failed in far too many ways. In time know you'll be fine %26amp; able to go forward with your life...all the best to you...:)
Therapy will definitely help you. Move on and enjoy life, you are lucky he's out of your life, you will open yourself to a better relationship that you deserve.Should I consider counseling?
**** him once a cheater always a ******* cheater
Yeah, it couldn't hurt. Try writing about it too. (I guess you just did) :)Should I consider counseling?
yes
Yes. I would if I were you. He was a total jerk. I'm sorry you went through this.
No, you don't need therapy. Just move on with your life as you did before and find someone who will be the person for you and will show it and be it!

As for the puppy, keep it as a reminder of the past and what happened. The puppy can be a great therapeutic feeling everyday. If not, contact me and I will take him and give him a loving home.
"... but also because he has a little bit of a commitment issue."
No, **** you. He does not have "a commitment issue". That is a sexist remark that treats men as-if their purpose in life is to make women, e.g. you, happy.
He is allowed to be single forever if he so chooses.

The truth is, you lack sufficient attraction for him to stay with you.

"... now I'm stuck moving back home with my parents and with a poor little puppy ..."
You are a grown woman acting like you are so incredibly helpless that you not merely are incapable of taking care of yourself but you are also incapable of taking care of your chosen responsibilities, i.e. your pet.

He probably waited around for as long as he could stand it hoping you would mature and get your life together.
Hey, whether you're trying to get your ex back, mend a relationship or get over a broken heart, it's important that you make the decision which actually works. I followed the advice in the articles on the website listed below my answer. Have a read of the articles and best of luck in whatever you decide to do.



Here's the site by the way: http://www.mendarelationship.com
therapy is not the answer. he took Advantage of you because of your love for him. he turned out to be shallow, and uncaring, this is his character. his loss you have been involved in this relationship and trying to make it work so long that you have lost touch with yourself. you have been living his life not yours. you have to step back take a big breath and remember who and what you are, that is a Beautiful caring, Intelligent woman. it is sad and hurts when we give our love and heart to the one you think is in love with you only to throw it away.this makes you feel ugly on the inside, and that you cant go on because he left you. the fault lies with him, he will do this to women the rest of his life, give it time and he will try to come back again. he knows your love for him has made you weak, and he will use this. he already has once. he is not the one you are in denial. there are others out there who would love to be with you, you just don't see it, you have put all your ENERGY into making this relationship work. being in love is to never have to say you sorry. if he truly was in love with you he would put you and your feelings first. you never know how strong you really are, until being strong is the only choice you have. love will find you again. your future is in front of you, a chance to start over again. this is not how you want to live, because this is not living. we make mistakes this to be human, learn from this and draw streanth from this bad relationship, so you never let anyone hurt you again. your not alone your puppy still loves you.